We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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