He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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