We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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