i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
