is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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