I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
