i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
