Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We got so high we made milksteak
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
