I puked a lego.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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