Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
