Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
