I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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