Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
