I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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