fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
