i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
