Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have fence marks all over my body
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
