Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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