he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
