It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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