i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
