We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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