Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
