Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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