o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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