On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
