Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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