i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
