I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
thus making me awesome and them whores
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you will always have a special place in my vag
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize