I think I am morally bankrupt
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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