escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
