She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he was CRYING into my vagina
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
