i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
