Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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