Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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