honey bunches of taint.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
