Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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