i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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