Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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