Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
