hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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