Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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