His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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