this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
