Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
