he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
sex in a hospital.. check
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize