She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
