dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize