It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
