FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
