he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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