yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize