dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
