If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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