oh god the rape fog is back!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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