TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
