discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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