So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
im six kinds of drunk right now
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize