Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize