Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
